Minimising Separation Anxiety in Toddlers
Separation anxiety in toddlers is a totally normal phase—but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. Whether it’s daycare drop-off or just stepping out for a few minutes, your little one may cling, cry, or plead for you to stay.
The good news? There are gentle, connection-based ways to help your toddler feel more secure—and two of the best tools are right at your fingertips: games and books. Let’s look at how to turn playtime and storytime into powerful moments of emotional growth.
1. Role-Playing Games to Build Confidence
Toddlers make sense of their world through play. When we create safe, imaginative scenarios that mirror real-life separations, we give them a chance to explore big feelings—without actually going through the stress of the moment.
💡 Game Ideas:
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“Playing School” – Set up a little pretend school at home. Let your toddler be the student—or the teacher! Practice arriving, saying goodbye, and greeting again.
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“Mummy/Daddy Goes to Work” – Use stuffed animals to act out a simple goodbye-and-return routine. This helps normalise short separations and reinforces the idea that parents always come back.
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Peekaboo Games – Yes, the old classic. Variations like hide-and-seek teach object permanence (the idea that you still exist even when they can’t see you), which is a huge developmental step in reducing separation anxiety.
2. Interactive Books to Normalise Goodbyes
Books are a gentle way to explore emotions from a safe distance. By watching beloved characters go through similar experiences—and come out okay—toddlers gain perspective, vocabulary, and reassurance.
📚 Recommended Books:
Bye-Bye Time by Elizabeth Verdick
A simple, reassuring board book from the Toddler Tools series that gives toddlers the words and confidence to handle separations.
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
A beautiful metaphor that teaches children that they are always connected to the people they love—no matter the distance.
The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn
A heartwarming story of a raccoon who gets a special kiss from his mama to keep with him at school.
Owl Babies by Martin Waddell
Three little owls wait nervously for their mother to return—and learn that mamas always come back.
Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney
Llama Llama’s relatable preschool drop-off jitters are soothed by connection and routine.
Daniel Goes to School by Becky Friedman
Daniel Tiger shows us how saying goodbye is hard—but grown-ups do come back.
🗨️ Try this: After reading, ask your toddler, “How did the character feel when their parent left? What helped them feel better?” It opens the door for your toddler to talk about their own feelings, too.
3. Playful Rituals to Strengthen Connection
Sometimes, it’s not the separation itself but the transition that’s hard. Creating a simple goodbye ritual can help toddlers feel more in control and emotionally secure.
🎭 Game-Based Goodbye Rituals:
The Magic Kiss – Inspired by The Kissing Hand, kiss your child’s hand and tell them they can press it to their cheek whenever they miss you.
Hug Countdown – Make saying goodbye a playful routine: “5 big hugs, 4 kisses, 3 high fives, 2 fist bumps, and 1 silly dance!”
Goodbye Song – Create a little song that’s just for you and your child. Singing it consistently builds predictability and comfort.
🔁 Tip: Keep goodbyes short and sweet. A drawn-out departure can actually increase anxiety. A confident, calm goodbye reassures your toddler that everything’s okay—even if they’re having big feelings.
Separation anxiety might feel intense in the moment, but it doesn’t last forever. By using games and books that gently reflect your toddler’s experience, you can help them feel seen, understood, and—most importantly—safe.
Lean into play. Snuggle up with a good book. And remember, focusing on the reconnection after every “goodbye” helps reinforce that you always come back.
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What books or games have helped your child through separation anxiety? Share your favourites in the comments!
